Who Are You?

Many people have asked themselves the question, “Who am I really?”…

Some people have found answers, others have not. I do believe however that each of us has asked, or will ask this of ourselves at some point. It is inevitable. The question comes through the way things tend to happen in our lives. Each life has it’s own general flow and rhythm, it’s own beat that it dances too.

It looks entirely different for each of us.

There are the white collar workaholics that are dashing towards the ever looming “deadline”, dressed in their suits and ties or high heals and slacks. Lunch for them is a snickers bar or a stretch wrapped deli sandwich with not enough mayo. Some wake up, work out, make a smoothie or toast, shower and primp, then off to work they go. Others sleep until that last possible moment, sail out of bed, jump into the shower, run a hand through their hair as the fly past the hall mirror, grab an apple and an energy drink and scoot out the door. Either way, they generally come home exhausted, kick off their shoes, perhaps watch some late night news, and then flop into bed so they can get some beauty sleep before it all happens again tomorrow.

Then there is the career college student. Always enrolling in another year of classes to add this or that to their collection of degrees and diplomas. Many times not quite sure what they really plan to do with their lives, but generally thinking if they cover all of the spectrum, they’re BOUND to land that dream job after they finally graduate… which keeps being put off after they enroll for the next year over and over again.

Or the starving artist… with the constant job search. Part time work, randomly scattered nine-to-fivers while they are looking for the next big break in their creative swing. Whether it be photography, writing, painting, crafts, inventing, interior decorating, music, singing, dancing, or whatever form of art they use as the medium to express their soul’s secret language… it is usually always JUST outside of their reach. There is always a new contact to be found, some avenue that hasn’t been tried, or fresh inspiration to be experienced. They are often an inspiration to those around them, and yet are very hard on themselves while they struggle through the constant agony of knowing they aren’t “making it big” doing what they love.

How about the adrenaline junky? They often have worked their entire lives to acquire the skill, knowledge, and physical status it takes to become qualified for the adventurous job they are ever seeking. White water rafting guides, trail guides, wilderness first response, rock climbing, bungee jumping, scuba diving, zip lining, and on and on it goes. Most of these people are always seeking the next big thrill, next adventure, next challenge. If they aren’t breaking a few rules, risking their lives, and competing for top dog, they aren’t living. There are many of these that have to make their adventure seeking into a hobby only, as it isn’t easy to find a job out there in this field, and most of them are seasonal anyway. That certainly doesn’t stop them from pushing themselves to be all that they can be.

And we can’t forget those that would much rather just live off of government checks, family pity offerings and bank loans while they watch trash television shows and smoke pot *cough cough* I mean “medical marijuana” for their gout or migranes. (On a side note, I DO know that there are many people out there with legitimate ailments that use medicinal marijuana responsibly and don’t necessarily fit into this category  We all know these “bums” do exist, and I mean no offence to anyone that is having a hard year and had to file for bankruptcy  welfare, or food stamps to get by while they get their feet back under them. I’ve had to do that myself, and understand the struggle. But there is a vast difference between those having a temporary hardship, and those that are scamming the system to stay afloat while the rest of us work our hind ends off to get buy.)

So many different types exist, but  matter what category you fit into… you are still your own personality and flair in the midst of it all. None of us are exactly like the person next to us. We each have had our own childhoods, our own life experiences that have helped to shape us into who we are today. So, if we lay our careers and dreams aside, and take a good hard look at what is left… what do we see? If you aren’t your job, or your hobbies, or your talents…. if you aren’t the car you drive, the house you live in, or the friends you have… if you can’t be defined by the style you wear, the brand of clothes you buy, or the diet you choose to follow… then who are you? Really and truly, I’d like you to take a second and take all of these things off layer by layer. Every thing that society has said makes you who you are… just push it away and close your eyes. What do you see? All that is left is your personality.Again, some people confuse personality with their style. They’ll say they are punk, hippie, hipster, professional, street smart or country. That isn’t what I’m asking you. I want to know… WHO ARE YOU?

Think of it this way: Picture yourself sitting in some park in your local area. You are reading a book, watching your dog play, or waiting for a friend. Suddenly, you hear a loud ZAP, feel a sharp pain in your shoulder, and the world goes black. You wake up in a dimly lit room made of brick walls and a concrete floor. No windows, and only one big metal door. There is absolutely nothing in the room with you except the fading light bulb swinging gently over your head. You are stripped down to nothing but your under clothes and your throat is dry as a desert. You aren’t tied up, or hand cuffed.On the wall, in crude handwriting, someone has written in thick chalk the words, “WHO ARE YOU?” You sit for hours on end, with no sign of any other life… no one comes to speak to you, hurt you, or let you go. It is uncertain whether you will ever be seen again, or whether you will just be left in this room to die. What thoughts run through your mind? How do you react? Would you panic or try to formulate a plan? Often when we take a true moment to really look at ourselves with NOTHING other than what’s on the inside, we can tell… (whether we like what we find or not) how we would respond given certain circumstances. Some people are jumpy, others are calm. Some people are planners, while others run on impulse and feelings. Some people cry when others would go cold. Some people might curse God, while others would start to pray.

When you see your traits, character, habits and thought patterns .. do you like what you see? Are there things you’d like to change or get rid of completely? Perhaps there are things you’d like to build on, strengthen, or add something new entirely. Have you wished you reacted differently to situations that you have had in the past? Our past life experiences have indeed played a big role in who we are as people today. But, I’d like to add a bit more to that. It is also how we reacted to those life experiences, that made a world of difference. Reaction isn’t ALWAYS a choice, but often times it is. If someone jumps out at us from behind a door for instance, it is a “knee jerk” reaction generally that follows. Depending on whether or not you scare easily, your first reaction will be quite different. Your second reaction however, is entirely up to you. Some people will begin to laugh, enjoying the thrill of adrenaline pumping through their system. Others will yell and lash out, upset, angered, and embarrassed that they were frightened at all. Still others may simply respond calmly, asking that the person refrain from doing such things in the future, as they don’t like the feeling it gives them and it weakens their trust in the other person.

I must tell you… there have been many people in the world that have felt an unbelievable feeling of peace or excitement once they have realized they can CONTROL their thoughts and reactions in life. Once it is made clear that it is YOUR CHOICE who you are… the possibilities are endless. Yes, you may have had parents that didn’t do the best job, or perhaps you have gone through some traumatizing experiences in your life… but that isn’t really what makes you…. you. It is what you have chosen to do with those facts that determines the you on the inside. Don’t take my word for it… test it out. The next time something negative happens in your life, and you know you always respond in a negative way… make the choice to change the pattern. You may be surprised at the answer you have next time when you stop to ask….  “Who am I really?” And… what does that mean?

Written by Tabitha Dudley